A Continuance.

She sat slumped, contemplating the trajectory of her life to come, feeling concerned and unfulfilled with the progress she had made so far. So young and full of life yet nowhere to express it, nowhere to share it, hence leaving her entirely lifeless. 

She looked back at the flashes of life that brought her to this very moment, all of the chaotic happenings, the love and loss of the world she surrounded herself with. The angst she felt or the emptiness where another human had once occupied. She had, until this point, filled her existence with people whom only wanted to play small roles within her earth time. Individuals that did not want to share in tea and watch the sun set, or indeed rise. Individuals who naturally would always love themselves more to get ahead and would attract the same. She never learnt this, never took to such a life practise. 

Often confronted with those whom no longer cared or bothered she regularly would find herself paralysed. Unable to move ahead with a genuine smile of joy, or even so much as a hello of comfort. Unable to step sideways, or back. Her body filled with utter fear, complete unsureness for the other that she would do exactly nothing. To simply freeze in the moment of time, it would almost pause and seem as though it went on forever, only to torture her mind more. It’s as though her mind is seizing and entirely unable to comprehend or cognitively do anything more then to breathe at the time.

She was a complex woman, a great deal to offer, when jolly, could bring the saddest of people to be jolly beside her. That light seemed to have dimmed some time ago. A time when life appeared to be nothing but colour. Nothing but whole joy. At this time, few colours appeared to seep through. Few colours found her in her thoughts, that girl that she use to be was dormant and she was slumped in contemplation trying to decipher, to discover what she could do to open the curtains of her mind and begin breathing with freedom again.