I'm not usually the type to write about relationships, but,  recently a particular topic has caught my attention. Man's turn around time on a relationship. To me it almost seems non-existent and I was curious as to why.

How is it, after being in a relationship for one, two or four years, your ex-bestie and partner in crime has found another woman and moved on like you never existed. Your whole existence is the bane of theirs, somehow they switch off to all emotions and start afresh in what seems like their fairytale first. 

Craig Morris, lead author of Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences from Binghamton University says, "Men, never fully recover (from a relationship) - they simply move on."

My question is, why?

In A New Mode, writer Eric Charles describes breakups and why men have particular responses.

Charles claims that, "When he jumps into another relationship, he can get a dose of external female validation and derive a feeling of false... self-esteem and self-worth from her positive attention. It has its cost though... ".

So it seems in avoiding some "postrelationship grief" as described by Morris, men whole heartedly throw themselves at the next woman they meet in order to feel validated? That sounds rough!

Although "breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger." claims Morris.

For me personally, after breaking up with my first partner I was a single lady for some 8-9 months. Although this sounds like a crazy long time, I evidently needed it to move on after our almost 2 year relationship.

While I took 8-9 months to move on, my ex-partner found another woman before we had properly parted. I know this because she messaged me a number of times... yikes huh.

It's funny because "Lack of communication" was the most prevalent breakup cause." as stated in Morris' article. He also states "People lose jobs, students withdraw from classes and individuals can initiate extremely self-destructive behavior patterns following a breakup."

I'm sure we can all relate to some of these behaviours at one point or another reaching the end of a romantic relationship.

I suppose in trying to understand the male side of a breakup I am no closer then when I started this article. Instead of avoiding it all, why don't males face the facts and go through the emotions? I'd love to hear both male and female responses on this one!

Talk soon,

CA

For a squiz at what Morris has to say, check out Academia.edu and look for:
Morris, C. E., Reiber, C., & Roman, E. (2015, July 13). Quantitative Sex Differences in Response to the Dissolution of a Romantic Relationship. Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences. Advance online publication. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/ebs0000054